Umm, that’s a good question. I guess the short answer would be — a lot. Fortunately, this isn’t therapy (been there, done that). Hence, I’m not gonna bore you with the crappy details and just state the obvious:

I love chicks.

Lots and lots of chicks.

Preferably, at the same time (and ideally without having to pay for it. Hookers suck. Fuck ‘em!).

So, does that make me an asshole?! And if it does, would you like to kiss my ass, you P.C. POS??

I mean, let’s face it — “nice guys” finish last. Or, in my case, get stuck with a clingy, emotionally unstable wallflower who likes to talk in her sleep and weep during sex. Great catch. I know.

Got Ambien?

I’m kidding. I don’t do drugs. I just muffle her with a pillow.

But, before you go all mushy and feel sorry for me or “Jill”, I should let you in on a little secret… I’ve got a plan. And it’s genius.

Read the rest of this entry »

If you’re looking for the old Moe Slitz site, I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news… it’s gone!

All of it.

Yup, that includes all the funny articles and sexy pictures. Sorry.

But, don’t despair. I’m here to help. See, I’m the new “Moe” (the old one, well, umm, got a bit old…) and I’ve decided to take this virtual wreck into a new direction.

Well, okay… not really. I mean, who am I kidding — me digs lotsa cootchie, too! Cheerio, bro.

Your Captain Bang-A-Lot,

~ Moe.